Blindi, get your gun!

Grade 6 for me was the year I decided I’d had enough of boy cooties. Was sick of the ewwwwwww of dance lessons during PE, and a I deserved to be treated like the princess I was. Dammit!

Things have stepped into the twilight zone for me.

I guess it all started on Friday afternoon on the trip into the city with the kiddo. We were all dolled up, happy and she was getting chatty.

All names changed to protect my alibi the innocent. Internal dialog in italics. Mine in Bold.

“Jimmy wants me to marry him.”
Huh. ReallyWTF You’re in grade 4 for heaven’s sakes.
“Yep. We were playing with April, May and June, we were all holding hands swinging around in one huge circle and I fell over. Then there was a hand, and it was Jimmy. He got down on bended knee and asked me to marry him.”
Next time you tell him he has to ask your parents first.So I can break his legs and hand him to your Father to finish off.
“It’s okay though Mum. I’ll just stand close to him when we cut the wedding cake so if he touches the bottom he can kiss me then.”
~ Me madly texting Cels with an attack of the giggles ~

Skip to this afternoon.

“Jimmy’s here.”
Here, what do you mean here? How does he know where we live?
*shrug*
Hiya Jimmy. Sup?If I try to speak their language maybe they’ll think I require a translator and switch to English.
“Good”
Why are you here Jimmy.”
“I thought Kiddo would like to play.”
Sorry Jimmy, sorry kiddo *evil glare* The rule of no friends over on weekdays applies to boys as well. Have a safe trip home Jimmy.Fall disgracefully off that bike and save me the trouble.
“Bye Kiddo”
Bye.

Now excuse me while I go find some online forms for gun licenses and google a bulk supplier of barbed wire. I also need to rename the house to You Wish Buck-o.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cels
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 16:01:12

    well Jimmy must be something special for her to have already broken the i’m not getting married rule lol Rick said haha suck in it’s started already lol Thank god we have a boy version

    Reply

    • Belinda's Baubles
      Nov 16, 2010 @ 18:09:42

      Haven’t quite gotten to the bit where I explain she won’t be spending any time out of school with Jimmy without either hubby or me right there with her. Not quite sure how to freak this one out.
      Don’t think June Cleaver will work without the actual cleaver, and the kid’s fine with all my weird crap.
      I’m so up shyte creek without a paddle.

      Reply

  2. Margaret Mager
    Nov 16, 2010 @ 16:56:39

    Mad chuckles from me. Maybe it’s time to go to ebay and find some chastity belts – surely they sell them – they have just about everything else.

    Reply

  3. mdepierres
    Nov 18, 2010 @ 13:11:56

    hahha hahah. I’ve only got boys, so my conversations are a bit different.

    Reply

  4. Belinda's Baubles
    Nov 21, 2010 @ 11:57:35

    I can’t even possibly imagine what the conversation would be like with a son.

    Reply

  5. bet365
    Nov 22, 2010 @ 21:50:19

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  6. Trackback: 2010 Blog in review « Belinda's Baubles's Blog

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