At what point do her mistakes not reflect on me?

I have been having a trial by fire when it comes to parenting a pre teen the last month or so.


Lies have been the basis of the problem, but there is some theft and some destruction of property. I won’t go into extreme detail, as the finer details don’t exactly matter. My darling will be turning 10 in a little under 2 weeks. The punishment I have chosen for this behaviour is to remove the gifts from her birthday.


Extreme? Hell yes.

Do I hate that this is what I came up with? Freakin’ hell YES.

Do I think she believes I am bluffing? Uh huh, you betcha.

Do I cross my fingers that following through with this will curb her enthusiasm when it comes to letting the lies just flow like a river? More than any of you would know.

I think she will survive her birthday with no gifts. I think she will find the next 3 months easier to manage because there will not be the 20 new toys that she doesn’t have a spot for in her room to deal with. Gifts are not the be all and end all of the demonstration of the love we have for our loved ones.


What I want to know is, at what point do her mistakes in her life, not reflect on me any more.


Because I feel to some extent I am responsible for her behaviour. I’m not blaming myself completely because I am not there 100% of the day to make her decisions for her. I figured since I have spent the last almost decade loving, caring for, and teaching my daughter the difference between right and wrong, she would just continue on with her moral compass intact and heading north.


Perhaps her falling off the rails a little now will make her teen years less tumultuous? I can only hope I am making the correct decisions to help lead her back to the path.


I hate that I feel like the last 10 years have been a small failure on my part. I just cross my fingers that we will both have enough time together on this earth to move beyond this and find a happier place to dwell.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Marianne
    Aug 29, 2011 @ 20:31:37

    Poor Bel, thinking of you. Parenting is the toughest gig of all. Just keep being the good, honest person that you are and all will be well.
    M x


  2. Belinda's Baubles
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 07:13:27

    Thanks Marianne. Just have to get through next week and keep my eyes on the prize.
    Things could be much harder, at least we have our health.
    I hate feeling like I’ve dropped the ball. Guess it means I’m human.


  3. Cecilia Jansink
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 08:51:08

    sending you lots of patience xx


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